; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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