At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
