Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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