Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm like, not good at living.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
