She said her name was "party"
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
My day in three words: secret purse cake
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
