I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
