I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
