This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
