Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
