turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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