i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
