doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize