WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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