he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize