my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
You can't motorboat a personality
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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