I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
