her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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