You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
