So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
