you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
