quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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