He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
