We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
