I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
