woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
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i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
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I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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