So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
