I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
