if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
