On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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