okay pat passed out under dana's car
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
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I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
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Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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