The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
