So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
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