a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
