he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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