There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
