It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
