Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
