im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
