So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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