I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize