So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A+ Viking dick
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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