Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
These tits shall not be calmed
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
