i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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