My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
