i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
