Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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