Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
