I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
