She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
