i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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