it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
