My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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