that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
