i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
