Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
