Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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