Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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