what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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