I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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