Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
